The Pressure to Make Life Perfect

One of the challenges we face in today’s world is the desire to make our kids’ lives as perfect as possible. We want to remove every speed bump, shield them from bad teachers, eliminate bullies, and fix all the hard things.
Of course we do — we’re their parents! Isn’t that our job?

And while we’re at it, shouldn’t our kids have the cutest clothes, the best toys, the smartest phones, and maybe even the fluffiest puppies? We live in a world overflowing with technology, convenience, and perks that past generations couldn’t have imagined. It’s easy to fall for the idea that giving our kids the best means making everything as easy and comfortable as possible.

I fell for that — hook, line, and sinker.

When “Yes” Turns Into Too Much

Sure, I made my kids do chores. They had to clean their rooms and get their homework done. But if I’m being honest, I still did their laundry, and I was very much a “yes” mom. If something was too hard, I was a happy scapegoat. I wanted life to be magical for them.

But then life stepped in — and gave us all a dose of reality.

Teaching Kids Responsibility… the Hard Way

Every other year or so, I’d get pregnant. And my pregnancies were brutal. I had morning sickness to the ninth degree.
Let me say this: whoever named it “morning” sickness clearly never had what I had. It was more like 24/7 nausea for months on end. In those moments, I couldn’t show up the way I wanted to.

That’s when my kids had to rise to the occasion.

They helped their siblings. They made their own lunches. They got through school without anyone hovering or reminding them what to do. And something beautiful happened: their relationships with each other began to bloom. They shared burdens. They commiserated. They grew.

Big Brothers, Big Hearts

As our family grew, so did the responsibilities of the older boys. They didn’t just take care of themselves — they stepped up to look out for their little sisters. And it was honestly really sweet. I never anticipated the bond that would form. I expected resentment, but what I got was love. Real, messy, teasing, caretaking love.

I had three big protectors in the house — boys who adored and watched over their little sisters, while simultaneously teasing them to the point of tears on a regular basis. It was a beautiful contradiction.

🛑 Brothers to the Rescue

🛑 Protective Instincts Started Early
🛑 Homework vs Reality!?

Meanwhile, I lay sick — sometimes on the couch, sometimes in bed — feeling guilty that they were doing my job. But instead of missing out on childhood, they were growing into responsible, thoughtful, and fun human beings.
They learned to see people. To notice needs. To respond with kindness (sometimes, because they are still human!).

And because their sacrifices were tied to something meaningful — a baby sibling, a recovering mom — their faith deepened too. They knew why they were giving. They understood the joy that followed the struggle.

Raising Kids Who See Others

Yes, there have been plenty of crude jokes — “Do you know where those babies come from?” — but they’re outnumbered by the moments when someone compliments me on my well-behaved, compassionate kids who genuinely know how to serve each other and the people around them.

I don’t regret a single one of my children.

And I don’t take credit for the goodness in them. I’m pretty sure that if I’d stayed on my original path, I would have spoiled them rotten. But God had another plan.

He allowed my kids to serve me, to serve each other, and to serve their dad. Together, we grew as a family. And through that process, I learned this: God didn’t send us here to live life alone. Family isn’t just about the blood in our veins — we’ve adopted many along the way, people we’ve loved and served and welcomed into our lives.
People who have loved and served us like we were their family.

It’s through trials, struggles, and challenges that we become strong, kind, resilient, and thoughtful humans who can see beyond ourselves.

Look Up and Look Out

There are people all around us who need help — even if it’s just a kind word or a weed pulled, a dinner dropped off, or a hand with groceries into the car. Look up. See your neighbors. Notice the needs. It’s the combination of many small deeds that add up to a world of good.

As a scripture in the Book of Mormon says, “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Alma 37:6)