Motherhood’s Hidden Struggle: Coping With Your Child’s Pain
The Unexpected Struggle of Motherhood: Watching My Kids Suffer
One of the toughest and most surprising parts of motherhood, which I’ve faced repeatedly, is seeing my kids in pain. From their earliest days, this aspect has been genuinely challenging—not just the adorable struggles like learning new skills—but witnessing real pain and distress. Sicknesses, sleepless nights, and genuine misery have profoundly taught me the true meaning of “mourning with those that mourn.”
Feeling Helpless: Coping with New Mom Anxiety and Baby Health Concerns
When my oldest, William, was a baby, every illness made me anxious. I feared something terrible would happen because I couldn’t fix it right away. I’d never felt so powerless. My mom even joked about how often William visited the doctor. Thankfully, with time, I became more confident, understanding what to expect and how to handle these situations. My heart genuinely goes out to any new mom feeling overwhelmed and scared. Babies can’t communicate verbally, so trusting our instincts and experiences is crucial. This is when having a supportive community truly matters.
Facing Colic: Lucy’s Story
Physical sickness is challenging, but colic brings a whole new difficulty. Lucy, my sixth child, cried nonstop whenever awake during her first four months. I knew she had tummy troubles, and I tried every possible remedy—gas drops, peppermint tea, natural medicines, and massages—but nothing worked. Her constant crying was heartbreaking, and I often cried along with her.
One night, when Lucy was around three and a half months old, I woke suddenly, clearly knowing what was hurting her—it was corn! I’d seen corn products I had eaten in a dream, guided by the Spirit. Removing corn from my diet was difficult, but within weeks, Lucy transformed into a happy, calm baby.
One day while we were in Las Vegas, I was starving and asked Tim to stop at a grocery store to grab me a package of saltine crackers. I thought they were safe—I had eaten them at home before with no problem. But that night, Lucy and I were sad together again. I had unknowingly picked a brand that included corn products. That moment was a wake-up call. It became a constant learning curve of checking labels, practicing self-control, and learning from every mistake. But she was worth every bit of it. I hated knowing that my errors caused her pain. There’s nothing harder than watching your baby suffer because of something you ate. Even now, corn starch or syrup causes her discomfort, though she jokes that some treats are worth the trouble!
When Kids Can Express Their Pain: Jillian’s Adventures
As my kids grew older, they became good at letting me know when they were hurt. Jillian, my adventurous child, broke her collarbone first and then broke the same arm twice—all within one year when she was only seven years old! She was the first child in our family ever to break a bone, and it was quite a traumatic year for all of us. Despite this, Jillian was incredibly fierce and brave through every injury. Each doctor’s visit left me wondering if something deeper was wrong, but doctors assured me these incidents were just due to her fearless, active nature.
Jillian quickly became known in our family for her frequent injuries because she truly goes all-in! One memorable day, she ran excitedly toward the trampoline, skidded to a stop, and ended up with the worst splinter we’ve ever seen—rotten luck indeed! Still, she’s always a trooper, facing her injuries with bravery and good humor. Seeing her pale face and hearing her say, “Not again, Mom,” breaks my heart every time. I absolutely hate seeing her in pain because I love her so deeply.
Invisible Pain: Coping with Emotional Struggles and Teen Mental Health
Physical pain is tough, but emotional struggles can feel even heavier. When my kids are sad, I deeply feel their sadness too. Life lessons can be harsh—loneliness, social pressure, comparisons, and bullying—all amplified by phones and social media today.
Some of my children struggled socially, feeling isolated or undervalued because they weren’t naturally outgoing or were homeschooled. Helping them understand their worth despite others’ cruelty is challenging. We often advise kids to ignore hurtful comments, but can we honestly ignore them ourselves? Words can cut deeply, lingering long after being spoken.
Embracing Both Joy and Pain: Our Family’s Journey
I have a happy family. Our house is usually full of laughter, silly jokes, and good chaos. But that doesn’t mean we don’t struggle too. One of the great contradictions of life is how joy and sorrow so often walk hand in hand.
William came home early from Brazil because he was struggling emotionally. He’s doing better now, but it’s still a daily battle. I’m so proud of how hard he works on his emotional health—it takes real strength to do that. David, who’s currently in Nicaragua, is nursing a knee injury. He’s praying he won’t have to come home for treatment (and I know he’d appreciate your prayers too—he really wants to finish his mission there!).
Two of my girls are currently in therapy. I’m not quite ready to talk about why, but I will say this: I’m incredibly proud of them too. It takes guts to face hard things head-on.
Life is hard. But it’s also beautiful. It’s full of both laughter and tears, good days and hard ones. My own health isn’t easy to manage, but I’ve learned something powerful through it: I would take my pain every single day if it meant sparing my children theirs. But that’s not how this life works, and I’m not the one in charge.
Why the Hard Matters
Their pain, as hard as it is to watch, is part of what shapes them. These trials—they’re not just detours, they’re the road. They’re what mold our kids into the strong, kind, and remarkable people they’re meant to become. That’s the point, the purpose, the plan.
And if we truly want to become more like the Savior, we have to be willing to walk through hardship too. He sure did. He endured more than I can even fathom. So why would I expect to shield my children from the very thing that might help them grow? Of course, I don’t want them to hurt. My mama heart aches when they do.
Loving Like Christ Means Hurting Like Him
But I think I understand better now why Jesus wept when Lazarus died—even though He knew He’d raise him. He felt Mary and Martha’s sorrow. And feeling someone else’s pain? That’s real love. It hurts to love like that.
So I’ll keep showing up. I’ll keep enduring. I’ll do my best to endure well.
Finding Comfort in Faith During Motherhood Challenges
Motherhood’s challenges have deepened my understanding of why Jesus wept with Mary and Martha, even knowing Lazarus would soon rise again. Feeling another person’s pain is incredibly difficult yet essential for truly loving others. Loving like Jesus means embracing sorrow and pain alongside joy and happiness.
Accepting this truth, I aim to handle life’s difficulties gracefully, knowing they’re essential for growth and compassion. Motherhood, with all its joys and sorrows, continually teaches me about love, resilience, and empathy.
What Motherhood Has Taught Me: A Journey Through Faith, Family, and Growth
Teaching Kids Responsibility; Looking Out and Looking Up
My First Trip Away from My Kids: What I Loved, Learned, and Regretted!
