How I Stopped Dreading Mother’s Day and Found Joy!
I don’t know how you feel about Mother’s Day, but for the longest time, it became a day I had learned to dread. It always seemed to land right around my birthday—sometimes even on the very same day. Double the pressure, double the disappointment. I know, I had the worst attitude!
Childhood Expectations and Grown-Up Reality
As a child, when both days overlapped, I remember feeling jealous that my mom got all the attention. (What an ungrateful, selfish little girl I was—she absolutely deserved every bit of it and more!) Now I realize the attention she received was probably nowhere near enough, and I had very little to be jealous of. Funny how perception shapes everything.
As an adult, though, I began to carry an unspoken expectation—likely rooted in that childhood perception—that I should receive some kind of recognition for my “service” throughout the year.
Marriage, Motherhood, and the Meaning of Gifts
When I was newly married, Tim spoiled me rotten. He’s an amazing gift-giver. But as we added more children and life got more chaotic—and as our budget tightened (not to mention I may have complained a few times when he splurged)—the gifts diminished. Looking back, I can see that shift wasn’t his fault alone. I definitely played a part in it. At one point, he was even convinced I didn’t like flowers. Clearly, my communication skills were lacking. Haha.
Still, the day began to feel less like a celebration and more like something to endure.
Don’t get me wrong—I have amazing children. They didn’t do anything wrong. But why would I expect them to suddenly become different people one weekend a year? I would get gifts. They would give me sweet hugs and maybe clean up a little more, but life just kept going.
Meanwhile, I’d scroll through social media and read about all these incredible women being celebrated, and I’d start comparing. And really—who ever measures up?
Let’s Talk About Expectations
Expectations? Just don’t go there.
I’d drop hints for months about things I wanted. But I’m practical to a fault—probably the least fun person to shop for. I would hope the house would be clean (and stay clean!). When you have seven kids, ages 1 to 14, that’s a fantasy.
Let’s be real: the house doesn’t stay clean.
This was a dream I clung to. Before that, when the kids were even younger, I was just exhausted. My expectations never matched my reality.
A Life-Changing Lesson on Joy
Last year, I took a mindfulness class from an amazing mentor, coach, and friend—Annie Leavitt (check out her blog here!). One of the most powerful things she taught was this: expectations rob us of joy.
That concept hit me like a revelation. I realized I’d been setting myself up for disappointment for years.
Thank you, Annie, for that—and so much more.
My house wasn’t going to be magically spotless. My kids weren’t suddenly going to start putting everything back where it belonged just because it was a “special” day. And my husband definitely wasn’t going to bring me flowers—especially if he was still under the impression that I didn’t even like them!
Homes are for living. People are for loving. And I needed to get real about that.
Prayer, Perspective, and a Purposeful Shift
So, I did something different.
Prayerfully, I asked Heavenly Father how I could change my attitude about these days. I had an amazing mom. I was surrounded by wonderful women, and I was deeply grateful to be a mother myself.
So why did I feel so miserable on a day that was supposed to be joyful?
That year, my birthday fell the day before Mother’s Day. I wanted help making both days more enjoyable.
The answer I received was simple—and completely doable.
The thought came: “Reach out to people who’ve made a difference in your life.“
So, I made a list of people—those who had served me, influenced me, touched my life in meaningful ways—and I reached out to them. I sent texts. I made phone calls. I thanked them specifically and sincerely.
Gratitude In, Gratitude Out
We all have people who make us feel seen—who show up when we need them. I spent the day expressing gratitude—and what I didn’t anticipate was the gratitude I received in return.
That wasn’t my goal, and it wasn’t necessary—but it was a tender mercy that filled my cup.
My birthday became special, memorable, even amazing.
On Mother’s Day, I made a list of women who had impacted me through their example and influence as mothers. Many had helped in my own home. I didn’t even finish reaching out to everyone on my list! But the experience was powerful.
The gratitude shared and returned was deeply fulfilling.
There was no time to compare myself or stress over whether the house was clean or if the kids did “enough”. My mind and heart were filled with appreciation—for others, for motherhood, for the women who had shaped me and my family.
The Days I Used to Dread Became Joyful
As I chose to focus outward, I was lifted.
The days I used to dread became joyful—and joy-filled.
The answer really was that simple. Our Savior modeled this principle so many times—serving and loving others. He taught, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40
The Beauty of Motherhood, Reclaimed
Motherhood is the hardest job I’ve ever had—but it’s also the most beautiful and fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.
There is nothing like when your child wraps their arms around you and says, “I love you.” Or when they open up about their struggles and ask for help or just thank you for listening. And sometimes it’s when their eyes light up just because they see you.
I love being a mom.
I don’t need a special day to make motherhood meaningful—but I’m grateful for one, because now it reminds me to reach out, give thanks, and celebrate the beautiful, sometimes monotonous, sacred work of motherhood—and the women who inspire me to keep trying, keep loving, and never give up.
Are you up for this Challenge? Will you reach out to someone in gratitude this Mother’s Day? I would love to hear how it goes! I hope you have a beautiful Mother’s Day! Savor the days (the days are long, but the years are short!) and remember tomorrows are never guaranteed! I don’t love posting pictures of myself but this week I was reminded how sacred life is and how quickly it can be taken. I’m so incredibly grateful for my family. For each and every one of them. I’m grateful for technology that captures the moments and for every picture I have with the people I love. My family—each and every one of them—is my greatest treasure.
Families can be together forever!
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